When Life Hands Ya Lemons…
John Lennon once said, “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…” and I never understood what that meant until I was sucked into the most recent whirlwind of poo covered tornado that has come into my life.
Buckle up friends, it’s a wild wild ride.
I have finally learned what it is like to feel like Bifford (the constantly drunk looking, woozy feeling) –well, sort of – and I thought I had my fair share of gnarly neurologic episodes of my years dabbling with epilepsy (totally the universe’s gift of course) but boy was I far from wrong as the universe proudly announces to hold their beer while they razzle dazzle my paperweight of a brain with more shenanigans.
Last year I got COVID-19 and though my symptoms were mild (thanks to the vaccine, wearing my mask and washing my hands) I had no idea what the lasting effects would be but I was soon to find out one of them: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) which commonly happens after viral illnesses and usually affects women between 13-50 (lucky us right ladies?). Basically, it is a blood flow issue where you can feel extremely lightheaded, faint, nauseous, diarrhea and much more fun exciting things. The absolute kick in the shin? There really is no absolute cut and dry treatment plan (when is there ever?) but essentially with diet changes, lifestyle changes and more there is hope the symptoms lessen over time though it is something that could last anywhere from a few months to a lifetime.
So awesome.
On top of being epileptic and having a plethora of mental illnesses (again, don’t we all in one way or another?) I was gifted with this too. Meh it is another hurdle in this crazy chaos we call life and what else can I do then roll with the punches?
Anyway, enough of the plight that is my neurologic health there are exciting things on the horizon for the Misfit’s Campaign!
– Our carrier tags are improving! It is so cool to have all you friends on this journey with us (I am sure a lot of you remember the very early on, rudimentary carrier tags and have watched them progress to what they are today) so now we are diving into this technological world – sublimation printing. Essentially sublimation printing is baking ink onto a surface making it hardier and more durable (which is exactly what we want in a carrier tag!) and will come in an array of colors, designs and handicapable abilities. Tentatively we are hoping to launch these bad boys by the end of November/early December 2022! We are still going to provide them free to those who apply for one (of course you can receive more for just the cost of postage).
– Though our main goal is cerebellar hypoplasia awareness we realized that when we adopted Maxwell that other adorable misfits needed someone to be their voice, for those misunderstood – so we are branching out to adorable misfits of all walks of life. This means that in addition to seeing Bart, Bifford & Maxwell you will see guest appearances from Lucipurr (who is behaviorally challenged) and Bessie (who is vertically challenged) as well as from fellow handicapable friends and their parents. The whole idea for us here is to show the world that “hey! We are all a little messed up in our own special ways, but we are rockin’ it!”
– Constantly updating our Misfit’s map! Not only will it include handicapable cool veterinarians but will be branching out to include misfit cool rescues, organizations, friends – because it is all about helping one another for the greater good of these adorable misfits, am I right?
Between the new chaos and the usual chaos, I have to say that I am utterly exhausted but thankful for each and everyday!
Friends, I must thank you all because I haven’t been tending to the campaign like I would want to. Sure, that means that messages don’t get replied to as quickly, tags may not go out as fast and some of the content may be recycled (more than once), if you are following us on Instagram (@PresidentBifford) & TikTok (#Presidentbifford) then you will see that there has been mountains to climb in our personal, professional, emotional and mental lives and we are working ever so diligently to process all of this in order to better continue to work on what is so near to our hearts: misfits.
The 30 Something-Year-Old’s Constant Plight!
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As a 30 something year old married woman I often get the age-old irritating question that I am sure plague many of you, “so, when are you having kids of your own?” Which is cool and all for those that want them but for me? I enjoy not pushing something the size of a large wet St. Bernard through something the size of a keyhole only to have my tatas drag on the ground every morning (kudos to all y’all mamas out there though – y’all are such MVP’s!!!) But the statement that people should be echoing (because let’s be honest, I use that as a vehicle to talk about the adorable land of misfits) is, “you are a mom, just not in the traditional sense” which makes sense– we’re the land of misfits’ dudes! Nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) we will say or do will ever be considered or filed away as “traditional”. But a caregiver is a caregiver, right? |
Whether you are a “mom” to a child, an animal that you have forged a deep emotional bond with, a friend, the elderly – anyone that you provide loving, compassionate care for, you are a “parent” in one form or another.
The next time someone approaches you in that sad sympathetic look with the tone of dismay over how they could never (cue the pearl clutching here) have an animal that is “special needs” and they simply do not know how we do it every day! Ask them why they feel that way and explain maybe you feel the same way about their situations. Do we not worry about our handicapable pets just like new parents fussing over their new baby?
Regardless of the situation, anytime you dedicate your heart to something as pure as an animal (handicapable or otherwise) or a baby or loved one, you are assuming the care, love, and responsibility for that helpless, defenseless being.
So no, I am not a mother in the traditional sense but what fun would that be in the land of misfits where we are all just a little out of the ordinary here?
Yet just like many of you I can say I am a nurturing caregiver (and a “parent”) here’s why:
- I have and will continue to handle more amounts of fecal matter than I had originally anticipated as a child (in case you were wondering, child me had that number at a hard zero – boy was I wrong). I wipe more ass than toilet paper at this point and my regular purchase of non-scented baby wipes has the local store concerned and puzzled.
- Everyone gets put to bed at nighttime – Maxwell is usually first to go: I help him use the facilities, we give him a little nighttime snack and then we brush his teeth, turn on his white noise machine (yes we play it and he loves the outdoor noises) and tuck him in his crib (a real baby crib) with his lamby he has had since a baby and has seen far better days. Followed by Bifford and Bart who also both get a little snack of canned food before bedtime before putting them to put with their brother Max in the “boys’ room” (or our spare room that has been commandeered by the handipets).
- On any given night you can hear crying, throwing up, fighting and more – just like kids can do (and yes there have been many a sleepless night up with a restless, crying or sick handipet).
So where is the disconnect?
A mother who cares for a newborn up to their elbows in diapers and crying is a “mom”, but I am up to my eyeballs in poop many nights up all night crying because I was tired and frustrated, but felt guilty for being so upset because just like babies the handipets do not understand.
One of the major differences is that with “traditional” mothers eventually their children grow up, grow independent and off on their own but as we all know (especially here at the adorable land of misfits) is that our babies never “grow up”, Maxwell will forever need assistance using the bathroom, he will always need me to wipe his booty, help in and out of his wheelchair and require constant attention.
Bifford will still cry when he falls (he is a bottle kitten after all) and need the “danglers” clipped from his long hair, Bart will still need me to help him wipe the half inch long dangling boogers from his nose.
They are each adorable, affectionate, disgusting in their own individual ways and I often describe them to people as my “adorable dumpster fires” at home but I would not change a thing because the things that make them adorable and gross are the qualities that make them who they are, make them unique and keeps our lives here interesting and entertaining.
Because the “misfits” are the patchwork to a vibrant and beautiful life, right? Or how about the age old saying “variety is the spice of life”, that definitely applies to being a handicapable pet parent.
Regardless of if were parents to kids, animals (handicapable or otherwise!), friends or the elderly we are all “moms” and “dads” in our own uniquely misfit way and its worthy of commendation and respect!!
#Misfits4Ukraine
Friends, it is hard these days to not turn on the TV or go online and be faced with sad, devastating images of the atrocities going on in Ukraine so in all of this bleakness we wanted to share with you some shimmers of light.
First off we want to be very clear in saying that we misfits stand with our friends in Ukraine and continue to send them love, prayers, compassion and support in any way that we can. Our hearts continue to break over the utter chaos and devastation that our friends (both two and four legged) are suffering in Ukraine.
Since this disruption for our friends in Ukraine we have gotten requests for carrier tags from not only Ukraine but also neighboring countries – all with the intent of giving them out so animals have a chance of being identified if they have a special ability but also leaving owners the ability to put their name and number on it in the event they are separated.
We continue to receive brief messages of families that are grateful for these carrier tags in a war torn area and several that were reunited with their handipet thanks to our carrier tags.
We even received an email from one pet parent that did not stray away from talking about cerebellar hypoplasia despite bombs going off in the distance. Friends we are in this together! We continue to show our support for Ukraine and we hope that you will also!
Keep fighting the good fight misfits!
ASA Status
Scoring System
This is where ASA classification can help. An ASA risk is a 1-to-5 score adapted for animals from human medicine’s American Society of Anesthesiologists. The system is based on the patient’s overall health, not the procedure being performed.
The ASA scoring system is NOT an assessment of total perianesthetic or perioperative risk, since many things, including the surgical procedure planned, the skill & training of the anesthetist and the surgeon, as well as the the resources at hand, contribute to the entirety of operative risk. If you EVER have any questions or concerns regarding your pet and any upcoming procedure they may be having talk to your veterinarian/veterinary support staff immediately!
The pre-anesthestic phase includes NOT only the choice of preanesthetic sedatives & analgesics but also a full preanesthetic evaluation & stabilization of the patient, if necessary. Categorization of patients using the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) provides a framework for evaluation of patient health & determination of stabilization requirements prior to anesthesia.
| STATUS | ASA CLASSIFICATION | EXAMPLES |
| I | Healthy Pet, No Disease | Elective Spay/Neuter |
| II | Mild systemic disease or localized disease | Healthy geriatric pet, mild anemia or obesity |
| III (Fair) | Moderate systemic disease limiting activity but NOT life-threatening | Mitral valve insufficiency, collapsing trachea, poorly controlled diabetes |
| IV (Poor) | Severe systemic disease, incapacitating; life-threatening; not expected to live without surgery | Hemoabdomen from splenic rupture, severe traumatic pneumothorax, organ failure |
| V (Grave) | Moribound; not expected to live >24 hours, with or without surgery | Multi-organ failure, severe shock, terminal malignancy |
Meet “Bifford”
About “Bifford”
Bifford was born in Chicago, Illinois after his mother was rescued off the streets by a compassionate and patient animal shelter volunteer. Being one of four kittens he was categorized by animal shelter volunteers as “the worst” out of the litter in regards to his cerebellar hypoplasia. When Bifford was a mere 10 days old his mother rejected him thus withholding care and nutrition he so desperately needed when a devoted foster mother assumed responsibility for his around the clock care. When Bifford was transported to Youngstown, Ohio by a local cat shelter a note was enclosed with him:
“Born October 09, 2011, mother rejected at 10 days old. Tipsy [my brother] and I are the largest of the four kittens in our litter and most affected with CH. He will use a litter box 99% o f the time, will cry beside the litter box if he cannot get in or is having trouble. Sometimes falls/flips right out of the litter box and also sometimes lays on side to go [to the bathroom] and I will help hold him up until he finishes. Sometimes will take a nose dive in litter and will need cleaned off/bathed. Sometimes he will accidentally step in his own mess because he is unable to bury his potty. Will eat some from plate but will eat best when fed canned food by hand while holding him up under his belly with my other hand. Will cry for a bedtime bottle around 9-10 PM and gets canned food 3x/day.”
Bifford was initially adopted in Fall 2012 but was returned after his family moved and could no longer take him with them. Upon being returned back to the shelter he was then adopted in Spring 2013 by a family who vowed to care for him but unfortunately bungled his care. When being returned (again) to the shelter in May 2014, Bifford’s former family admitted that they were unable to effectively care for Bifford and felt that he was “suffering” and wanted him to “die with dignity” to which they would contain him in an empty hot tub with the cover on it in order to “contain the mess”. Bifford was terrified and underweight but otherwise unscathed, though shelter life was no life for him. Living in such close proximity to other cats in a cage free shelter proved the theory of “survival of the fittest” in which Bifford was not as fast as the other cats and was often the subject of many bullies.
I agreed to foster Bifford on Mother’s Day, 2014 in which the situation was only to be “temporary” in order to spring him from the shelter and hopefully nurture him physically and emotionally. The first few nights were proving to be exhausting ones for both Bifford and myself — roaming the house and crying all hours of the night I can only speculate he was terrified being in a strange, new environment (again) and even more terrified that he was going to fall in love with a new family and ultimately get returned back to the shelter. Couple this with the fact that at that time I had no idea how to properly care for a “CH” cat (nor did I know much about them) I feared that I would not be able to arise to the labor of love that was Bifford.
Years have passed since those first few days and I still joke with Bifford that he is a “foster” though I can say without reservation that he is a “foster fail” because he took over my heart in so many ways. Come October 09, 2018 Bifford will be turning 10 years old to which he has a happy, healthy and spoiled lifestyle (what cat do you know that has their own bedroom and TV?!) and ultimately planted the seed of special needs animals advocacy and education due to all of the misconceptions and ill-information circulating about special needs animals.
Please enjoy the website, Bifford’s photos and overall shenanigans and information 🙂